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Family Friendly Joke of the Day

Discussion in 'General Off Topic Discussions' started by Dave, Feb 16, 2016.

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  1. GaryL

    GaryL Gary Moderator

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    I remember planning a ride in Baldwin that ended up pretty close to that formula.
     
  2. Dave

    Dave Dave Administrator

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  3. GaryL

    GaryL Gary Moderator

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    I guess he would be both.
     
  4. Dave

    Dave Dave Administrator

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    Dad: Son, I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
    Son: No.
    Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter.
    Son: Okay then!
    Dad goes to Bill Gate.
    Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
    Bill Gates: No.
    Dad: My son is the CEO of the world's greatest bank.
    Bill Gates: Okay then!
    Dad goes to the CEO of the world's greatest bank.
    Dad: Make my son the CEO.
    CEO: No.
    Dad: My son is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
    CEO: Okay then!
    This is BUSINESS.
     
  5. Dave

    Dave Dave Administrator

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    Q: In a one-story pink house, there was a pink person, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, a pink shower– everything was pink!

    What color were the stairs?







    A: There weren’t any stairs, it was a one story house!
     
  6. GaryL

    GaryL Gary Moderator

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    Basement stairs?
     
  7. Dave

    Dave Dave Administrator

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    A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
    Boy: Why do you look so fat?
    Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
    Boy: Is it a good baby?
    Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
    Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
     
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  8. AdamStan

    AdamStan Adam SXS Nation Rookie

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    My grandpa knew the Titanic was going to sink. He said it loudly countless times..

    Then he got kicked out of the theater.
     
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  9. AdamStan

    AdamStan Adam SXS Nation Rookie

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    What did the nut say to the other nut it was chasing?

    "Sooner or later, I'm gonna cashew."
     
  10. AdamStan

    AdamStan Adam SXS Nation Rookie

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    What do you get for winning the "Staying in Bed the Longest" competition?

    Atrophy.
     
  11. AdamStan

    AdamStan Adam SXS Nation Rookie

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    What do you call a webpage that helps your eyes feel better?

    A site for sore eyes!
     
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  12. Dave

    Dave Dave Administrator

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    A farmer wrote a letter to his son in jail for robbing a bank: “This year, I can’t plant potatoes because you are not here to plow the field." The son wrote back, “Papa, don’t dare plow the field. That is where I hid the money I stole.” The police intercepted the letter and by the next day they'd dug up the entire field but found nothing. The son wrote to his father, “Now you can plant your potatoes."
     
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  13. Dave

    Dave Dave Administrator

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    A kid is on his lawn, playing with mud. A man walks up to him and asks, “What are you doing?” The kid says, “Making a smart potion. Would you like some?” So the man says, “Sure. I’ll try some.” So the kid gives the man a bit of the mud in a cup to drink. When the man drank it, he yelled, “Blech! This is mud!” So the kid says, “See, getting smarter already.”
     
  14. Dave

    Dave Dave Administrator

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    Clever kids

    A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.
    One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.
    A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.”
    A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of change.
     
  15. Dave

    Dave Dave Administrator

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    A man walks by a blonde, who is holding a pig. The man asks, "Where did you get her?" The pig answered, "I won her at the fair."
     
  16. GaryL

    GaryL Gary Moderator

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  17. Dave

    Dave Dave Administrator

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  18. GaryL

    GaryL Gary Moderator

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    Sounds about right!
     
  19. Dave

    Dave Dave Administrator

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  20. Dave

    Dave Dave Administrator

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